:Forever Alone: Part Two

            This sounds really selfish and childish of me, but happy couples make me angry. It's not that they don't deserve to be happy; unless they're little freshman babies who "fall in love" with their "soul mate" after simply knowing of each other's existence for an earth-shattering five minutes.        Those who truly know what love is, even though the word is tossed around like a beach ball, deserve to be happy. Even though it upsets me. I'm only affected by it because it's something I desperately want. I'm not saying I want it because everyone else does or because so many other people are in relationships and I feel like I have to "fit in". Having someone to talk to on the phone until you both pass out, getting a "Good morning, beautiful" text when you wake up, texting them every free second you get just to let them know you miss them, hanging out just to cuddle on the couch and watch movies, just for the sake of spending time with them, those are the things I want the most.

            I feel like most teenagers take their high school relationships for granted. They get into relationships just for the sake of saying their in one, without any real attachment being present; saying "I love you" just digs them into a deeper hole and makes them look even more stupid. Not only does it make those of us, who would actually put forth an effort into a relationship, hate you, but it ruins the definition of what a real relationship is.

            I'm going out on a limb here to say that technology has really screwed us over when it comes to having a relationship with another person, whether it's intimate or among family members or between friends. Sure, texting and phone calls are fast and convenient, but it really has cut back on the time we could be spending with these people we constantly talk to, physically; texting is fine if seeing each other isn't an option.

I don't know about you guys, but if I had a boyfriend, I'd much rather talk to him face-to-face than face-to-phone screen.

            I think that technology has also changed how open we are with communicating; since we're hidden behind our phones and computers, we feel like we can say, literally, anything without the consequences of saying it to someone's face. That's pretty much the easy way out in a relationship because, sure, you're telling the other person how you really feel, but you don't trust them enough to say it to them personally? Texting can also lead to more secretive relationships which sucks. It makes it easier to cheat and hide it, lie, etc, which, obviously aren't good for stable relationships.

            I don't want to sound like a guru for teenage relationships like some sort of Dr. Phil wannabe, but I'd like to think I'm thinking more logically and realistic than some of the innocent little children, almost literally, who think they're found "the One" already. It just doesn't happen as often as they're thinking it does. If you're the type that dates someone new every week because "YOLO", then, honey, I'm sorry, but you need a reality check. And a slap in the face for making me use the word "Yolo".

Word count: 550

Is It Here Yet?

            ONLY FIVE MORE SCHOOL DAYS AND WE'RE FREE. We've been waiting for this last week for months now, although the four-week stretch between Thanksgiving break and Christmas break feels like years. Not only does this span of time go on forever, but teachers seriously think they can keep our full attention those entire four weeks, and they get frustrated with us when we don't have the discipline to do our best. We can't help that the anticipation for nine days away from school, presents, tons of delicious food and time for SLEEP is taking over almost every neural function in our brains.

            A big issue I have with the span between Thanksgiving and Christmas is that teachers try cramming in an entirely new lesson concept and all the huge projects, quizzes and major tests that come with them. They should know better because there is no way a bunch of high school kids, no matter how "mature" we may seem, sometimes, Christmas is definitely more important to us than school at this point in time. As my AP Comparative Government teacher is discussing the differences between the governments of two completely different countries, I'm sitting there drooling over all the chocolaty, gooey Christmas cookies I'm going to be devouring in just a few short days.

            The worst part about all this is teachers plan their end-of-the-unit tests ON THE SAME FREAKING DAY. I would much rather have one test in a different class each day of the week than having six in one sad, horrible day. It would give us more time to spend studying on each individual subject, rather than having to cut up time among six different subjects in one night, and, therefore, it increases our chances of getting a good grade. I'm assuming that most of us poor souls have a job outside of school. Dividing the short, measly hours left after a five-six-hour shift at work between studying and getting enough sleep is just so hard. I don't think teachers get it. They have work and school rolled into one, and if they have "homework" grading papers at night, that's their own damn fault. We students have it tough nowadays.

            I hate that all the big projects are due and the tests are scheduled on the last day of school before a break. It leaves us dreading the entire week because we know that last day is coming, and we have to endure that day before we're finally set free for a week. With my procrastination being as atrocious as it is, I always wait until Thursday night to study for my big tests and/or finish my project(s). I know it's stupid and childish, but I think somewhere deep in the folds of my brain I think that, maybe, if I put it off as long as possible then it'll just go away and I can skip right to my break. But no. It doesn't happen that way. Once reality sets in that I have absolutely no more time to just sit on my ass and not do my homework, I'm a busy little bee, running through my assignments until the wee hours of the morning. Of course I don't mind it too much because I know I have nine full days ahead of me to catch up on my much-needed sleep.

Word count: 556

Benefits of Retail

            Ever since I started working in retail, (yes, I write about it a lot) I've learned a few tips that will definitely help me when I'm launched out into the real world in a few short months:

            1. I've gained some fashion sense. I've come to notice what clothing items do and do NOT go together. For example, long sweater dresses look cute with black leggings and boots. But only for the right age group. Ladies, if you have a teenage daughter, you're not supposed to be able to wear her clothes. It's crazy to see women in their 40s trying on Miss Me jeans with a hot pink, tight, lacey t-shirt. I've had women in their late 40s or older with platinum blonde hair, fake lips, boobs, nails, the whole nine yards, decked out in bedazzled jeans and thin, strappy heels just to go shopping.

            2. The clearance rack is your friend. One person might say those are just the clothes that no one else wanted, which I guess I could agree to, to an extent. But some of the deals are damn near impossible to pass up. At work right now, we're having a clearance event where everything on clearance is 33% off the ticketed price. Being an associate, I get an extra 30% off that 33%, so I get almost two thirds off something that has already been marked down. If you search hard enough, you can find some real gems in the clearance that a lot of people don't pick up; I'd take advantage of it because you could save a bundle on something you might have spent a fortune on before.

            3. I've learned how to save money. Well, sort of. Working in one of my favorite stores is dangerous because I see everything that comes through it and I want to blow my entire paycheck. But I've learned to control my spending and budget what I can spend and what I should save for something more important. Like college in a few months. Although I haven't really saved all that much because Christmas shopping is expensive but that's beside the point.

            4. I've gained people skills. Although it's really hard to keep my cool when bitchy people come to me for help and then complain when I don't give them the answer they're looking for, or they come in with some hidden motive to trash the entire store and make everyone's day miserable, I've managed to refrain from punching many of them in the face. I've gotten over my little issues with answering the phone; now it's like second nature to me. I can easily start a conversation with complete strangers, something I would never have been able to do a year ago.

            Although working in retail sucks 99.5% of the time, I've managed to grow as an employee and ultimately as a person while working there. Hopefully this concluded my series of work-related posts for a while.

Word count: 501

Parents...

            I hate that my parents don't trust me. I'm not exactly perfect and I've done some stupid things before in my life, but that doesn't make me a troubled child who needs to be put on house arrest. The thing that bothers me the most is they think that, because the majority of kids my age are out drinking till they're made of booze and not water, getting high off of anything they can find, and sleeping with everyone in the school. I'm still a teenager, but I'm not one of those teenagers.

            My parents, especially my dad, believe that he knows me so well. When he finds out something true about me that he doesn't know, he gets angry and thinks I've been keeping secrets from him. Bottom line, Dad, that just proves that you don't know me as well as you think you do.

            I remember one day in particular. I was on the floor laughing my ass off, not quite literally but close, because my sister and I were just messing around and being stupid like always. My dad comes home from work while I'm laughing, and he gets right in my face and yells at me, "What did you smoke?!" Get off my ass, Dad! I don't do that shit. I should be allowed to laugh without being accused of smoking weed just because everyone else does it.

            My mom, however, is a different story. She's the type of mother that's like a best friend, unless you're in trouble. She definitely knows more about me than my dad does because he'd freak out about everything. My mom would just roll her eyes and ask me a billion questions. She still cares just as much as any mother does, but she doesn't overreact and get angry. I really wish my dad was more like that.

Word count: 315 

Holy ACT

            I took my ACTs for the first time yesterday morning and let me tell you, it SUCKED. Granted, it wasn't as hard as I was expecting, but I wasn't the least bit prepared for it.

            First off, the process of getting started with the tests took way too long. I had to be there at 8 am, and we didn't begin testing until around 9. Normally, dragging the time before a test would make me happy, but I really wanted to get this one done and over with. The rules for the test are a little ridiculous, too. I mean I know they want it all to be super standardized and uniform, like phones off and under our chairs, but come on; not even a water bottle allowed in the room?

            And another thing: don't teachers usually encourage students to have a free-reading book to read after a test if they finish early? Apparently these people think reading after the ACT is "distracting" to the other test-takers, so they require you to sit there like a zombie and stare at the walls. The crazy part? They said that getting out of your seat to get a new pencil, or blow your nose, or even LEAVE THE ROOM DURING THE TEST to go to the bathroom was okay to do. Like those aren't distracting at all.

            After I tried getting over my annoyances, it was time for the tests to start. I could say the same for all of them that they started off pretty easy. I felt like I was managing my time well and I could possibly finish early. But no. Once I got halfway in about four of the five tests, I hit a wall. The problems either got significantly harder, or the writers of the tests got drunk in the middle of writing them and made their questions and answers make absolutely no sense. The math test was horrible. I was doing fine with the basic skills, but once it got to the geometry shit, I knew I was done-for. That test was the longest, and it had 60 questions for its 60 minutes; I thought it'd be a piece of cake, one minute per question, but I didn't get it finished, unfortunately. To add to my other annoying problems, the test administrator lady was walking around the room, looking at our tests. Totally not a distraction.

            I decided to take the writing test in hopes of it helping my score a little bit. The prompt was an easy question and I could quickly choose a side to the issue, and I wrote out my response. The girl next to me was a total over-achiever; she wrote on all four pages, completely. Mine was a page and a half. I'm not saying I was jealous or anything, because I knew I got my point across, but I was a little miffed that mine looked inadequate because I didn't write nearly as much. Hopefully they don't score it partially on how much you write; they said nothing about a length requirement anyway.

            Unfortunately, since I'm pretty much sure I bombed the hell out of this test, I'm going to have to take the damn thing over again. I won't get my results for 5-8 weeks, and by then it will be another test date. I might as well just sign up at take it again because I don't think any colleges will want me when they see how atrocious my tests are.

Word count: 586

Tattoo Maybe?

            I just recently got an industrial (a metal bar that is pierced through two points in the cartilage of my ear) and my nose pierced. Over the past ten years, I've gotten my ears pierced four other times, counting the time when I got them pierced the first time when I was seven; I let them close, sadly. I don't know why, but I really like getting piercings. That might sound a little creepy and over-the-top, but I like the way they look. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to go out and pierce my cheek or my eyebrow or something crazy and, honestly, not very attractive like that would be. I can pierce my ears as much as I want and I think it would still look cute. And the good thing about piercings is, they aren't necessarily permanent. If I got huge gauges that stretched my ears to three inches in diameter then, yeah, I'd say they're going to stay stretched out. But a nose or ear piercing will eventually close up, which is good for when I'm a saggy old lady who doesn't want her ears full of holes.

            My dilemma, however, is whether or not I want to get a tattoo. I'm debating for multiple reasons: 1. I'm deathly afraid of needles, to the point where I actually kicked the nurse when I was six or seven. 2. They're permanent, unless I want to undergo laser removal which will most likely hurt more than the application of the tattoo anyway. 3. I'm most likely going to be saggy drooping when I'm older, which means my tattoo will also be saggy and drooping. The image will distort and it won't be cute anymore. The thing is, I see a lot of my friends getting them, and some are truly adorable. I wouldn't get anything huge, but something small and meaningful will do just fine. I wanted to get it on a place that wouldn't sag so much, like my foot or my ankle, or maybe my wrist. I was also thinking my tattoo will help with my fear of needles; I can get piercings all I want, a tattoo should be easy, right? I guess I need to ponder this idea a little more.

Word count: 380

Holiday Humbugs

            There are an awful lot of rude people in this country. I know that sounds very broad but it's true. I'm saying so because, since I work in retail, I have the very unfortunate experiences to surround myself with this people multiple days a week, for many hours at a time. I don't know if it's because the holidays stress people out because they're spending so much money, or if it's because it's getting so dark so much earlier and everyone is in a pissy mood, but it SUCKS.

            I don't understand why people have to be such assholes to those who work in the stores they shop in. I can guarantee that if they were the ones working and we were the ones shopping, throwing shit on the floor, leaving piles of crap everywhere, mixing things up and putting where they don't belong, they would be beyond pissed. And the thing is, I realize that on Black Friday it was a little chaotic with so many people wanting to buy all of their Christmas presents, but that doesn't give them a reason to be an asshole to us that are trying to help them in finding what they want. That not only makes us angry at them, too, but it makes us look bad as associates and, ultimately, as a store. We're people, too; we don't like having people bitch at us just as much as anyone else does. That also means that we don't like having to pick up huge messes because people are too lazy to clean up after themselves. It isn't really our job to wait on them hand and foot. We're there to help, yes, but we aren't a cleaning service.

            Bottom line, when you go to a store or a restaurant, clean up after yourselves. I'm sure most of you reading this have a job and know what it's like cleaning up after people. Make everyone else's job easier and do the same when you go out somewhere.

Word count: 345