Crime is Pride

The quotation from Antigone by Sophocles implies, pretty clearly, that all people make mistakes; no one is perfect. But it also states that someone of good character will stop when he or she knows they’re doing something wrong, turn it around, and fix it. The final line explains that the only wrongdoing someone can commit is being too proud of themselves.

I personally agree with this entire statement. It is true that nobody out there is absolutely perfect, but if someone has some shred of a conscious, they will realize when they’ve done something wrong and will correct themselves without hesitation. Someone without that natural inkling to correct their mistakes probably doesn’t feel any sort of guilt or remorse and, therefore, are committing the “crime of pride”, as Sophocles has pointed out. They are too proud of themselves to realize that they’re hurting someone or something.

This excerpt makes me think about what I learned in my AP Psychology class on anti-personality disorder. Commonly, we think “anti-social” means that a person doesn’t talk to anyone and stays locked up in their room alone. In reality, it means that person literally lacks a conscious; they don’t feel sorry for any negative things they do or say, and they do these things mercilessly.

The idea of pride as a crime can be seen in another light as well; the person doing the good may become too proud of the deeds their doing and grow to be a little too conceited. They will fix the “evil” for their own self-serving reasons rather than taking the time to consider the other people their actions could have affected.

 

Word count: 281

Music Freak

As many of you know, I really enjoy art and I'm pretty good at it. But if there's one thing in life that I love more than art is music. I absolutely love music. Not like. Love, because there is so much that music can do besides sound pretty. Music has also inspired my art and helped me focus or, "get in the zone" if you will. I would totally persue music if I had any shred of musical talent (I took band in middle school...fail). So I guess that means I'm just stuck listening to music which I am perfectly fine with. It's fun to dance around your room like an idiot with a hairbrush microphone, or head-bang at your steering wheel. Have you ever found a song or songs that remind you of a certain place or person or experience in your life? I relate a lot of my best memories to songs that remind me of them. My friends and I have songs that are simply "ours", or they describe our relationships or they spark up a memory between us. Those songs are always my favorites, unless they remind me of a sad memory or of someone who isn't a part of my life anymore. The saddest part about that is they were songs I once really enjoyed, and I feel like I can't listen to them anymore without bringing back those memories I worked so hard to forget.

 

Not only is it fun to dance to and jam out in your car or have a private shower concert, but it's also therapeutic in a way. Really! Have you ever had a terrible day at school or work, or you just broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend and you just want to vent but you don't know how to? As teenagers, we kind of use music to escape the real world when we're stressed or upset about something, and we focus on the melodies and the lyrics and it's calming, even when the music is very loud and crazy. I personally listen to loud, heavy, shredding guitar music when I'm angry, or sappy love songs when I'm depressed because they fit my mood to a point. Although, sometimes it's better to listen to songs opposite your mood so it'll help distract you and make you feel better. Honestly, song lyrics can express how I'm feeling better than my own mouth ever could. It's almost impossible not to find a song that doesn't express your feelings at any moment, which, I think, is pretty awesome. It's even been scientifically proven that music can help your mood!

 

Word count: 441

Ophelia

1.      The heaviness of death clings to the air like dew on the morning grass

2.      Nonsense melodies cloud her saddened mind

3.      The herb placed to her lips tingles, burns with eagerness

4.      She should not do this; she cannot do this

5.      Her footsteps are a storm as she stumbles through the wood, leaving heartache behind her

6.      A tree is her savior and her solitude from reality

7.      Splintering, cracking like her broken heart, its limb has no strength to save her from her fate

8.      The broken branch lies over the brook

9.      Willows weep softly; their tassels hang mournfully above her

10.  Her limp body floats, like a leaf, on the surface of the water

11.  Mermaid hair swims around her as she glides down the shallow creek

12.  Her heart stills, frozen with the absent warmth of love she wished to receive

13.  Her once-lovely pink lips turn pale, as her breath silently whisks away

14.  Petals float around her, the only color that remains

15.  Ophelia, her body wilted, slowly sinks down into depths from which she won’t return

My first technique was imagery. As you can see, I pretty much use imagery in almost every line; I was once told that poetry was constructed of sound and imagery, so I just went on from there.

Another technique I used was diction. This would be the sound part of my poetry construction, and I used this in lines 4, 8, and 11 especially. Line 4 is a parallel structure, 8 I used alliteration, and in 12 I used words that related to mermaids like “hair”, since it’s an important feature, “swims”, and “glides”. The entire poem could be considered an analogy for death.

I used quite a bit of personification in this poem in lines 1, 8, 9, and 13. I figured using these would make the images seem more alive so the audience would feel like they were actually witnessing Ophelia’s death personally. (You might be able to consider personification in line 15 in regards to her body since she’s dead at this point).

I used similes in lines 1 and 10 to compare the heaviness of death and her dead body to natural things, also making the story more tangible. I also used one in line 7 to compare the breaking tree branch to her already-broken heart.

I used metaphors in lines 5 and 6, labeling her footsteps as a storm, indicating she’s running quickly, loudly, wildly through the forest to the tree, my second metaphor, her savior.

This brings me to my zeugma in line 6, stating that the tree is her savior and her place of solitude and privacy in one.

My final strategy is anaphora, which you can see in lines 5, 10, 12, and 13 in my repetition of the word “Her” at the beginning of each of those lines.

Word count: 485

I Know You're Ignoring Me...Facebook Said So

Do you ever want to talk to someone really bad, but you're at war with yourself because you don't want to annoy them? Yeah, me, too. Eventually you give in, you text them and get nothing back after a long time, if at all; it hurts, right? Especially when you know that they're the kind of person who always has their phone attached to their hip. Being ignored sucks. Sometimes you just want to go full stalker mode and talk to their friends, find out what they're doing, why they aren't texting you. It's a girl thing. Or maybe it's just me and I'm some kind of stalker freak, I don't know. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who's felt the sting of being ignored by someone whom you really want to talk to.

One of the worst feelings is when they initiate hanging out with you sometime earlier that week or even earlier in the day, and then when it comes time to when they wanted to hang out, they suddenly fall off the face of the earth. No amount of texts or phone calls will work. You're sitting there pouting because you got your hopes up and your makeup all done. You go back into that vicious circle of internally beating yourself up because you want to keep texting them, hoping they'll take the necessary 30 seconds to type out a response. That's what I don't understand: unless you're asleep or at work where you can't have a phone out or something along those lines, I doubt anyone is so busy all day long that they can't take a simple 30 seconds to a minute, at most, to at least say hey. Men, I swear. They just don't get it.

Another issue is when you're hanging out with a friend, and they're constantly texting their significant other. The catch is, when they're hanging out with said other, obviously they're "way too busy" to text you, right? Wrong. That's total bullshit in my opinion. And, quite frankly, it's really inconsiderate. Why even hang out if you're just going to be talking to a billion other people, but then ignore everyone else when you're with that one "special" person? I realize the person they're with might not appreciate them texting either, but why should they think it's okay to do one thing to one person or not the other? It's just not fair. I hope some of you can relate to my little ranting session.

Word count: 423

Nap Time is a Must

            When you get home from a long day of intellectual stimulation and torture, otherwise known as school, sometimes it's really nice to just take a nap. We poor children haven't been able to take naps since Kindergarten, and we're always so damn tired because we go to work after school some days and stay up until the wee hours of the morning doing all of our homework. But on those occasional days off, what smart, sleep-deprive high-school kid isn't thinking of taking advantage of maybe an hour or two for a little snooze?

            Some nights when you have little or no homework, you could just eat dinner and then go straight to sleep really early. That feels fucking AWESOME. Not just the feeling of having no homework but also being able to catch up on some very-much-needed sleep. As we all know, sleep is essential to our learning. Uck. No. Sleep is just fun and it keeps you from waking up like a zombie or being a real nasty person to be around. My sister is that kind of person. She doesn't do well on little sleep. She will fall asleep right when we get home from school and sleep straight through dinner sometimes, wake up for maybe an hour and then go right back to bed. Even when she gets tons of sleep she still wakes up in a pissy mood sometimes.

            I just woke up from a pretty fantastic three-hour nap myself and it inspired this post. I don't know what it is, maybe I'm just weird, but I am really comfortable sleeping on the floor. Hell, I can fall asleep and nap pretty much anywhere: floor, couch, chair, sitting up, on a pile of pillows/blankets/clothes, you name it. Anyone else like that? At least it means that I'm not picky when it comes to sleeping somewhere. Like when your family goes on vacation and there are only two beds for the six of you; of course your parents will have one and your selfish siblings claim the second so you're kind of forced to create a make-shift bed on the floor. Either way, no matter where I sleep, naps are amazing. But they gotta be at least an hour. Or two. Or more.

Word count: 380

"I'll just do it later"...

I must admit that I have a serious problem with procrastination. Sometimes it just sounds better to spend an hour or so hanging out with your best friend, or watching a movie and then studying later, or taking a 30-minute power-nap that turns into a couple hours. My difficulties with buckling down and cracking the books have only gotten worse since high school opened its ugly doors for me. Balancing five college-level classes, including all those heavy textbooks, and a part-time job is damned near impossible some days. Putting off that paper and reading assignment for a little while to give myself some free time always sounds like a good idea, until my test comes back with a big, fat “F” on it. I know it’s hard to get into the habit, but doing my homework right when I get home really is the best idea if I want to do well in school. I need to be more self-disciplined and actually follow my planner. That way I won’t have to cram all my assignments into one night and lose precious sleep over it.

I think I can safely say that about 98% of teenagers have procrastinated. The other 2% are probably lying. One thing I’ve learned that helps with my procrastinating is to write things down. Staying organized and keeping track of all the things you have to do really helps because it creates a sort of guideline for what projects you need to finish first and which ones you can afford to put off for a while. If you have multiple assignments due around the same time, and you have, say, a week to do them, spend a little time every night working on each project so that by the night before they’re due, it won’t take as long to finish everything. That way you also have time to finish smaller assignments given to you throughout the week that are due the next day without feeling pressured with the heavy workload.

Another problem that contributes to my procrastinating, and I’m sure others’, is the temptation of electronics; you feel your phone buzz and you think that you have to look at it that very second or it’ll explode. One thing that helped me was keeping my phone in a different room while I worked on homework. That way I couldn’t hear or feel it vibrate and I was able to concentrate without worrying about who was texting me. If you must use your phone for researching or something like that, sometimes it’s better to use than a computer because there’s the temptation of opening tabs for Facebook or YouTube or Twitter. Since switching pages on your phone is more difficult than on a computer, it won’t be as easy to get sucked into the social websites; as long as you’re not texting, of course.

If you have a study hall period, take advantage of it. It’s much easier to concentrate when you’re in a school setting; it’s quiet, and there aren’t those temptations like a T.V. or a comfy couch. That way you can get some assignments done and you can actually take the time to relax and watch your favorite show when you get home.

Procrastinating is a nuisance, but if you have the organization and self-discipline to get your work done first, your grades and your brain will thank you.

Word count: 564

Prom?

I've been debating lately whether or not I want to go to prom. I know it's my senior year and it's really my only opportunity ever to get to go, but I've never been a big fan of dances. I've gone to Homecoming every year, but how different is it from prom, really? It's more expensive. I mean, look at those dresses! The tickets are more since prom includes a fancy country-club dinner, the dance itself and the party afterwards. Everyone spends so much money on hair and makeup and nails when they could honestly do most of that themselves or have a friend do it.

            Another thing I'm not too excited about in regards to prom is the fact that I do not and probably will not have a date. I know it's not a big deal and it would most likely be more fun going with a big group of friends, but every girl wants a guy to ask her to prom in a really cute way. Seeing all the adorable little couples with their balloons and posters and pictures clogging up my news feeds makes me sick and a little sad, to be honest. It makes the prom experience less exciting. It sucks even more when the people I'd be in a group with have quite a few couples in there, too. It's like I never get away from them!

            I don't want to have to spend a ton of money on a dress that I'll probably never wear again, shoes I can't really walk in, and get my hair and makeup done all nice just to get sweaty and gross during a dance, in the dark, where no one can see. I think we get all dressed up for the pictures and that's it which is honestly really funny because everybody takes pictures of themselves pretty much every day anyway.

            Even though I'm not feeling this whole prom thing, I'm pretty sure I'm going to go just to say I went, and I might regret it when I'm my mother's age and I didn't go. I don't want to be Drew Barrymore in "Never Been Kissed", waiting until I'm 25 to go undercover back to high school so I can go to my senior prom. I might as well take the chance now while it's here.

Word count: 401

LOST

            I've just recently gotten into the popular tv show Lost. I never really watched it when it was still showing on tv, but I had seen bits and pieces and I'd heard people talking about it, so I became interested. When my younger sister got the first two seasons on DVD, she and I started watching them together. I'm pretty much hooked, to say the least, even though I'm still only into the first season.

            I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who hasn't seen the show yet, but I need to rant or at least talk about it a little bit because it's just that good. The basic idea of the show is these people are stranded on an island after their plane crashed. There are roughly 40 survivors settling on this island trying to receive help, but the radio in the plane doesn't work and they cannot pick up any type of signal. The island is enchanted or magical in some way. If this is considered a give-away, it really shouldn't be because it's pretty obvious in some of the events that take place within even the first few episodes. I can't really say how or why because, well, I honestly don't know yet.

            Not only do these poor survivors have to endure the surprises of the island, but they have to learn to live amongst each other; they're all strangers, some criminals, addicts, doctors, others keep to themselves and you question the character of some of them. I won't mention any names, you'll just have to find that out for yourself.

            I think my favorite part about the show is that it keeps you on your toes at the end of every episode. Not even the end really, because new thing happen throughout the entire thing. Every little detail is important and it all fits together like a puzzle. It's crazy how much I already know after watching most of the first season. I wish I could go into full discussion mode with this but I REALLY don't want to give anything away. I think this show is way too good for anyone NOT to watch it.

Word count: 372

AProblems

          I’m sure other students about to take AP exams feel the same way I do right now: I’m freaking the hell out. As I’ve progressed through the year, I didn’t think that my AP classes were all that hard. The thing that’s really scaring me is that I have to try and remember everything, literally, EVERYTHING I’ve learned this entire year to prepare for the tests I’m taking.

It’s one thing when you have to remember the content from one or two chapters for a test, but it’s a whole different ballpark when the test is compiled of information that was learned over the course of nine months and is entirely cumulative. And it doesn’t help that the content itself is already difficult since they’re college-level courses.

I’m taking two actual exams and submitting a portfolio for the tests. My tests are in AP Psychology and in AP Art History. For AP Psych, memorizing all sorts of body functions and behaviors and scientists and syndromes and diseases and all sorts of other scientific things gets really confusing. You’d think that having a chapter on memory would help when it comes to memorizing so much material, but it makes it even more difficult because you learn how we memorize things and why certain things stay in our brains when others don’t. The plus to that is it explains what methods best help us remember things, so hopefully by studying those it will help me when it comes to my test. Multiple choice isn’t a problem; it’s always those damn FRQs.

I’m a little concerned about Psych, but my Art History test is making me lose sleep. I know what you’re thinking: how hard can a class about art be, really? The thing is, it’s actually the hardest class I’ve ever had. Art History starts with ancient Mesopotamia back in 3000 BCE and earlier and it progresses up through modern art of the mid to late 1900s. Let's just say, it's A LOT of information to try and retain. I have to remember and recall thousands of years worth of information that I learned over nine months into a three-hour test. To me, this sounds damn near impossible. I'm not good with names of people or places or specific dates for anything or particular cultures, countries or religions or political stuff; this class combines all that and more. Art, of course. It's probably the hardest class I've taken. Although I love the class and the subject matter, the test scares me shitless.

My last AP "test" isn't really a test necessarily; I have to submit two art portfolios that consist of my best pieces over the course of this year. One of them is a breadth portfolio, which can be anything I choose to do. I decided to focus on 3D art, so all of my pieces have to be 3-dimensional so I can't draw or paint anything. This made it really tough for me in the beginning because I was running out of ideas on what to make and what to use to make it. I used clay, plastic, wood, matches, plaster, stone, wire, glass, and paper, just to name off a few things. I'm really stressed about this test because I'm behind on pieces, and I need at least 12 for each portfolio. I'm having an artist's block and I don't know what to make anymore.

As I see it at the moment, nothing good can come of these tests UNLESS, by some miracle, I'm able to pass them. I'm not so confident about that, honestly. Hopefully I can get my shit in gear and finish everything and study my ass off for these tests. I'm crossing my fingers.

Word count: 621

I'm a Big Kid Now...

It’s really hard to believe that I’m almost done with high school. It seems like only yesterday I was walking up the steps in front of Kennedy for the first time, stumbling through the doors and into the hallways flooding with strange people I didn’t know. I even remember what I was wearing on my first day of high school. It’s scary to think that in a few short months, I’ll be a big college kid, and I won’t have the secure environment of my high school anymore. Everything is familiar in high school: the teachers, the hallways, the annoying underclassmen, the rules, the noises, the smells. I used to be so afraid of this place because it was so big; all the classrooms were organized in such weird ways; there were just SO MANY PEOPLE. But after a while, I learned where everything was, where to go for assemblies, where the bathrooms and the cafeteria are. In college, I’ll have to do all of that all over again, and I’m freaking out a little bit.

I think I’m most afraid of not knowing what to do when something goes wrong when I’m in college, because I’m going to be about an hour away from home and I won’t have my family there to help me or give me advice. I’m worried that I might run out of money or I’d get lost, or that my car might break down somewhere and I won’t know what to do, silly little things like that. I’m also worried that my roommate might be a total bitch or a crazy person, or that we’ll end up fighting all the time and I’ll be miserable. I hate that I have to grow up so fast.

Word count: 293

 

 

 

Screens vs. Faces

                You see them everywhere: people with their eyes constantly glued to their cell phones practically fused to their hands as they walk, talk, sit, stand, eat, and even sleep. Technology today has made it possible to talk to virtually anyone, anywhere and at any time from the palm of our hands. Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Tumblr, YouTube, MySpace have all changed society’s way of communicating with one another.  It’s crazy to think that these social media devices that we treasure so much didn’t even exist 20 years ago. The ease and constant access of social media has drastically changed the way people relate to each other, in a not-always-positive way.

               I think the biggest problem facing social media today is that people hardly ever communicate face-to-face anymore. It’s easier and faster to just send someone a text, call them or message them on Facebook than it is to drive and meet them. People like to take advantage of this when it comes to being more confrontational; they use their technology to hide and they feel free to say pretty much anything they want. They feel they’re able to do so now because, before the new wave in technology, that screen wasn’t there for them to hide behind so people were more reserved with what they had to say. People say things they wouldn’t normally say in person because they feel more protected by the screen on their phone.

                People also use social media as a way to be more open to people, also because they can hide and not have to risk being embarrassed or worry about the person’s reaction to what they said. It makes lying about who they really are easier, too. People get nervous or upset when someone they’re talking to doesn’t respond right away or at all, especially if they see that person is talking to someone else on their Facebook wall. How did we become so dependent on this fast way of communicating that we get upset because we don’t hear back from someone for five minutes? Social media has negatively changed social relationships quite a bit over the past decade or so because technology has made it easier to cheat, lie, criticize, or exploit other people. Back when our grandparents and even parents were our age, they would maybe call each other at night, go out every now and then and actually see and spend time together and talk to one another. Nowadays, people just text or tweet at each other, maybe hang out on the weekends. We’re losing our skills of verbal communication, not to mention good grammar or spelling. Who knows, maybe our kids will live in a world where they have no human interaction whatsoever other than through social media and texting. Good God.

                Not only are relationships with friends and family altered, but intimate relationships are also in danger. As I mentioned before, technology today makes cheating easier and a lot more secretive. People in relationships feel jealous when someone of the same sex likes or comments on an attractive photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. If people see anyone of the same sex even talking to their significant other, they get jealous, and it’s because they know technology has made it possible for people to lie so easily, so trust becomes a huge issue in relationships. Relationships today don’t seem to last as long as they used to either. People take the easy way out and break up over text or phone which I find extremely stupid and childish. They’re too afraid to face the person and discuss things face-to-face, and I think technology definitely ruined that.

                I wouldn’t say that I think social media sites shouldn’t exist; I can’t, because I use them, too. I can say that I wish that people today didn’t rely on technology for absolutely every aspect of their lives, especially communicating with other people. People are everywhere, and we shouldn’t have to use mechanical devices to talk to them. I think relationships, intimate or not, need genuine, face-to-face communication, or they will not work out very well. I think people need to put their phones down for five seconds and sit down and talk with someone. Facebook can wait.

 

Word count: 707

Phobia

Everyone is afraid of something. I’m afraid of needles. Apparently it’s a common fear, but often times when I bring it up to people, they look at me like I’m a child. I hate needles: short ones, long ones, skinny ones, fat ones. Just the sight of a syringe at the doctor’s office makes me hyperventilate. Just the idea of going to the doctor’s freaks me out because the possibility of getting a shot is always at the back of my mind, no matter what I’m going there for. Of course, this doesn’t help when they have to check my blood pressure, which ends up sky high every time they check it so they think it’s naturally that high. Obviously, that’s no good either.

I had a traumatic experience with needles, which is most likely where the source of my fears came from. Everyone has to get shots before going to Kindergarten. I didn’t know this until one day, when I was five, my parents were hinting at going to the doctor, talking about shots. I felt worried and I panicked a little bit. My mom looked at me straight in the eye, and a little irritated she said, “You’re going to get a shot today.” I started bawling, naturally.

The next thing I remembered was sitting in our green family van on our way downtown to the clinic by the Cedar Rapids Public Library (before it flooded). I refused to get out of the car and I was still crying. My mom yanked me out of my seat and my parents both dragged me, each an arm in hand, into the office that smelled too much like sanitizers and rubber gloves. I hate that smell.

Sitting in the waiting room was awful. My mom went to check in at the desk where the receptionist was pecking away at her computer and my mom signed a few forms using a pen with a plastic spoon taped to it. I thought that was really weird. It still didn’t take away from how deathly afraid I was. The nurse called my name and my parents had to drag me, again, kicking and screaming into the room.

They plopped me onto the table and I glanced to the counter where two, not one, but TWO thin syringes with their tell-tale orange caps sat there mocking me. I was beyond hysterical by now, and it didn’t help that the nurses that were going to administer the shots weren’t the nicest. I mean come on, I was a five-year-old girl and that shit was scary. I remember quite vividly kicking one of the nurses and my mom was holding me down, chuckling.

Because of this traumatic experience, I’ve had an extreme fear of needles, shots, doctors, you name it for years. Just the idea of going to the doctor freaks me out because I’m afraid that my mother is secretly hiding the fact that a shot is in store for me at every visit. Call me crazy or childish, but I’m sure you’re afraid of something, too.

 

Word count: 538

Piercings vs Tattoos

Over the past year or so, a lot of kids around my age have gotten tattoos. I've thought about getting one myself, but the main reason holding me back is the fact that it's extremely permanent, and the efforts needed to try and remove it are painful, expensive, and time-consuming. And there's no guarantee it'll actually work.

The advantages of piercings over tattoos are they aren't as painful as sitting in a chair for hours with a needle scraping into your skin, they can be changed whenever you want, and they aren't permanent. I'd find it kind of gross seeing a 70-year-old man with full sleeves or wrinkly old ladies with tramp stamps. Even the most crazy of piercings can be removed, with a small scar of course but the scar of a laser-removed tattoo will look much worse.

My ex boyfriend has a friend who's a tattoo artist. When he was first starting to do tattoos, he asked my ex if he could practice on his arm. He ended up passing out drunk in the middle of the procedure and left a "lion" that looked like it was drawn by a third grader on my ex's bicep. And it'll be there forever.

Although some piercings look gross if they're excessive, or are administered in weird places, they can still be taken out and they'll close eventually. Although tattoos look really cool, they have some drawbacks that make them less desirable. I'd rather get piercings any day.

Word count: 249

Bipolar Winter

Don't get me wrong, I love the snow and winter and cold, but the weather this year is on the fritz. One day, we'll be hit with a blizzard that buries us in a foot of snow. The next day, it'll be 42 degrees and the roads are wet, the grass muddy and mushy. I'd prefer ice over slushy, wet snow; at least the ice doesn't get your shoes and pants soaking wet.

That's like what happened today; it poured down rain for hours to the point of large puddles flooding the streets and yards. But just four days ago we had a snow storm that cancelled school. And apparently, snow is on the cards for us again tomorrow night? Crazy, right? At least it's better than last year; it barely snowed at all and even Christmas was brown. We had one snow day and that's not normal for Iowa.

As far as I'm concerned, this winter isn't so bad just because the seniors don't have to worry about making up anymore snow days this year and everyone else has to go into June. Sweet! I suppose I can sacrifice wet pants and shoes for a shorter school year and a longer summer before college.

Word count: 207

Never Doing THAT Again

                I like to help people when they’re in need; whether it’s a ride to work, a couple bucks for something, or a place to stay for a few weeks, I’m there to help. The only problem with that is that people tend to take my kind gestures for granted and they don’t seem to appreciate them. Now, I’m not trying to sound selfish by any means, but wouldn’t you want a ‘thank you’ or some form of appreciation for your good deeds, too? (Keep in mind, this post doesn’t involve charity or anything like that.)

                I have this guy friend. I’ve liked him for a good three years now. Since I’ve liked him for a while, I’ve done quite a few favors for him. He’s gotten in some sticky situations over the past couple years and whenever I was able to help out, I did. The two times his car got impounded, I gave him rides to work. When he ran out of phone minutes, I bought him a minute card. When he dropped his phone in the toilet, I bought him a new phone AND a minute card. I’ve also bought him food, cologne, and numerous presents for various holidays. I don’t mind doing nice things for people. But when it comes to spending quite a substantial chunk of my hard-earned money on them and they take it with barely so much as a ‘thank you’, or the phantom possibility that they might actually do something nice for me for a change, I get a little pissed off. Well, a lot, actually.

                I had this boyfriend. He had a tough upbringing and he was a teen dad as a sophomore in high school so he dropped out and his life pretty much went downhill from there. He had an apartment with his baby’s mom for some time and he worked all day and always came home to a dirty house that he’d have to clean. When he found out his girlfriend was pregnant again, let’s just say his life got even harder and the money he had was never going to be enough. They broke up, he lost the apartment, and had to move from place to place to live. When I met him, he was staying with his grandmother who didn’t want him there, at all. She kicked him out and he was staying with friends for a few nights until he moved in with his sister and her boyfriend at their apartment. His sister’s boyfriend was bipolar, had major anger issues, smoked, drank, and his mother was even worse. She was a crack addict, and she, too, had a raging temper. My boyfriend, now ex, didn’t want to have to deal with that for too long, and eventually his sister and her boyfriend kicked him out because him being there cut into their intimate time together (I think you get it).

                That’s where I came in: being the helpful person that I am, I begged my parents to let him stay with us, at least until he got on his feet. He had no license, no car, no home, no job. The first thing we did was move him into our basement. I bought him clothes, minutes for his phone as well, twice, food, spent hundreds of dollars on gas going anywhere he wanted to please him. The next order of business was to get him a job; anything would do. He applied to at least 6 places a day, interviewed multiple days a week and they all fell through. The frustration of job searching was really taking a toll on our relationship; he’d take everything out on me, so I’d try and ease the tension by treating to movies, Roughrider games, going out to dinner multiple times, just so we could think about things other than work.

That seemed to work for a short time, but things eventually slipped back to how they were. I wasn’t happy, he wasn’t very happy, but I kept trying, doing everything I could to try and make it better. I figured things would get easier once he had his own place. He didn’t think so and broke up with me because we weren’t happy together and he didn’t want to hurt me anymore. The straw that broke the camel’s back was after the Roughrider game; he was drunk and being more affectionate than ever, and I made it a point to tell him he treated me better when he was drunk and that made him feel terrible. Ever since then, he spent every waking minute trying to find an apartment to get out of my house.

I was happy that he was trying to be a grown up and be on his own, but he was not ready at all. He didn’t have nearly enough money to be considered stable; he didn’t have furniture, blankets, pillows, no essentials for a home by any means. My parents offered to let him stay until he had enough money for a nice apartment, but he was hell bent on leaving. The other day I picked him up from work; he asked me to take him to his place so he could sign the lease. I then took him back to my house and he packed all of his things and his father was in my driveway to take him back across town to his place. I was livid: he hardly discussed it with me or my family; my parents didn't even know he was leaving that day; he barely said so much as a 'thank you' to me before running out my door. It was as if the hundreds of dollars, all that time and struggling happiness I invested in him was all for nothing. Now that I look back on it, I wouldn't call it a mistake; it's just a lesson I've learned never to do again.

Word count: 985

Weed it OUT!

            Unlike a large majority of the student body and many other low-life folks out there who obviously have nothing going for them in life, I have a strong aversion to weed. I don't smoke it, I don't touch it, I don't look at it, I don't do anything with it. Quite honestly, the idea of it is absolutely disgusting. Smoking anything at all is gross. It smells like shit, it looks like something you'd find in the woods, it's just nasty.

            Kids nowadays have this obsessive attitude towards the stuff and it blows my mind. Why would one want to smoke something that fucks with your mind and your body so much that you can't remember anything? Same goes for drinking to the point of throwing up or passing out. I don't know about you guys, but I'd rather do something fun that I can actually remember doing. Whatever happened to old-fashioned going to the movies or bowling or going out to eat without getting fucked up? I know some people who can't even go to work without getting high first because "they can't handle it otherwise". Well, honey, I'm honestly surprised you even have a job considering you come to work stoned off your ass every day.

            I realize smoking cigarettes and drinking are legal, but people don't follow the age restrictions AT ALL and it's honestly annoying. Smoking doesn't make you look cool, it makes you look dirty. Drinking won't get you friends, it'll get you into trouble. Smoking weed or doing any other drugs will get you in trouble in general. I've heard countless times from the many potheads around that "weed has never killed anyone, yet alcohol and tobacco kill people every day". Yes, I understand that. That's why I'm against all of it, duh. Although marijuana hasn't been proven to kill anyone and it's actually legal to be used for medicinal purposes in TWO states, mind you, I think my big issue with it is the fact that it is NOT legal here in Iowa. Alcohol and cigarettes aren't legal either until you're of age, but, of course, stupid people everywhere need to get their fix any way, shape, or form. I don't see how sucking poisonous smoke into your lungs and chugging horrid-tasting fluids in mass quantities can be appealing in any way.

Word count: 391

Snow Days vs. Two-Hour Delays

            I prefer two-hour delays over half days and snow days. I used to like snow days the best until they decided to have us make them up throughout or at the end of the school year; that's honestly ridiculous if you ask me. We can't control the weather so why should we have to make the days up? Teachers can just eliminate things from their lesson plans for all we care; I doubt anyone would mind, I don't know, missing a test or two because of an unexpected snow day.

            I like two-hour delays because I get to sleep in. I don't think anyone but high school and college students understand how needed more sleep is. Honestly, younger grades should be the ones starting school at 8 in the morning because they have much more energy so they will easily get over their sleepiness in the morning. My brother and sister, for example, are in fifth and first grade, and after they're awake for about five minutes, they're ready to go. My sister and I are pretty much dead for the first three hours or so after we get up in the morning because we both end up staying awake until about 1 in the morning and have to wake up around 6:30 every day. I think that high school should start at 9 and elementary and middle school should start at 8. They shouldn't start and get out at the same time because that creates conflicts for parents who have kids at two or more separate schools; they'd have to be in three places at once!

            Another reason two-hour delays are better than snow days is that we don't have to make them up. As I mentioned before, having to make up snow days is a drag. For us seniors, we don't have to worry about them taking up our summertime because we're done at graduation, but we still have to go to the damn make-up days they decided to schedule during the year. I was hoping that we'd have enough snow days to go over into the summer so my sister would still have to go to school while I was at home sleeping all day; I think it'd be hilarious. At least I still get out five-or-so days before she does.

            Two-hour delays are awesome because classes are so much shorter, even shorter than on our regular half days. On half days, we don't have to incorporate lunch into the shortened day, so classes are around 40-45 minutes each. On a two-hour-delay day, we still have to fit four lunch periods in there, so classes are 30-35 minutes each which is awesome. That's especially awesome on those lucky days when tests are scheduled, because there's no way there would be enough time to take a test without being rushed, so, naturally, teachers should just postpone, or even cancel, it.

            I still thoroughly enjoy half days, and delays are always a pleasant surprise. I also really like those special days when a big storm's a-brewin', and the Superintendent decides that the schools need to dismiss early just to ensure the kids get home safe before there's about 50 feet of snow on the ground. Just kidding, but it's still pretty awesomely unexpected and it makes the day better. And since we already were at school for a designated amount of time, we don't have to make those days up either. Sweet!

Word count: 575 

Miss Representation

           Contrary to what people all throughout history have said and tried to accomplish, men and women are still not completely equal in all aspects. Men are still seen as being the strong leaders, women are still the kind negotiators. Is it impossible for a woman to be a strong leader, too? Can't a man be kind and gentle as well?

            As we've noticed in class as we view Miss Representation, it's clear that the media shows women in a different light than what the everyday woman on the street looks like. TV shows and movies portray women as statuesque beings with the perfect body, clear, glowing skin, flowing, perfect hair and tons of money. Just by walking through my school, or looking outside as I'm driving through downtown, I hardly ever see "the perfect woman" as seen on TV, if at all.

            The part that really frustrates me about the media, as mentioned also in the video, is that the portrayals of women influence how young girls and women see themselves in a negative way, and they feel the need to look like the glowing figures on TV and in movies. A scene in the documentary that stood out to me was when a girl was talking about how her younger sister would cut herself because she was being teased for not being very pretty. I find that sick; no one should cut themselves, but especially not because someone told them they weren't "pretty enough".

            Harmless-looking forms of media such as Barbie dolls are also showing girls what society views as 'beautiful'; if girls don't look like Barbie and dress like Barbie, does that mean they aren't beautiful? I don't think so. To get rid of this controversy, toy makers could make a larger Barbie to represent bigger girls, or shorter Barbies to suit short girls, just so there is a doll to fit every type of girl. They have Barbies with different ethnicities, why not shapes and sizes?

            Not only does the media simply make women look trashy and bad most of the time, those women who are trying to make a living for the media, such as actresses and other positions behind the scenes of movies and TV shows, aren't having their fair share of the spotlight. According to an article I read on jobs in the filmmaking industry, women are vastly outnumbered by the amount of men there are in top-rated movies; they make up 18% of the staff directing, producing, editing, or filming the movies themselves, not just acting. Of course most of the women are placed in front of the cameras so men can look at them, not behind the camera where no one can see.

            Mentioned in the article, actress Meryl Streep comments that although the top five movies released in the last five years, all with major female roles, have brought in a lot of profit, the fimmaking industry still neglects to make many "big-time" movies aimed toward a female audience. This doesn't make sense because the movies made the industry a lot of money, yet they don't continue down that path to make more of such movies because they're for women.

Word count: 531

You Don't DO That!

            People do some seriously crazy stuff online. By now I'm sure most of you have seen or at least heard about this disgusting, idiotic and downright raunchy video of this girl sucking the blood out of her tampon.

            If  you haven't then, yeah. You read that right.

            This girl looked like she was maybe 15 or 16. I think she did it because some gross pervert suggested it in a comment in another video of hers so, being the idiot she is, she felt the need to follow through with their request? NO! That's absolutely disgusting and just...UGH!

            For one thing, why would she just pull down her pants in front of the camera and proceed to yank the tampon out of her body, still on camera? And did anyone else find it very ironic that she was wearing a really low-cut shirt? Was she trying to look hot while drinking her own blood like some sort of sick new-age vampire trick? She wasn't pretty anyway.

            Second, why would she show her tampon on the camera, at all? I don't want to see your nasty blood clots! I'm a girl, I know what that shit looks like. Seriously, if she wanted fame or whatever, she could have done some other stupid prank or challenge to get it.

            Third, why in the HELL would she smell her tampon, let alone PUT IT IN HER MOUTH AND PROCEED TO SUCK ON IT, MULTIPLE TIMES?! Oh. My. God. You know, if it wasn't for my personal experience with periods and whatnot and what blood clots actually look like, I would have been part of the group of poor viewers that believed the video was fake. But no, those chunks were real. Very real. And she literally swallowed them. If she was smart, and not completely retarded and sick and twisted, she could have soaked it in red Kool-Aid and made sure to leave chunks of the wet powder on it or something. People in this world make me sick.

          What I don't understand is, if everyone was so disgusted and turned off by this girl's video, why did so damn many of them decide to re-upload the video themselves? Did they think that, by some weird and unlikely miracle, that by uploading her minutes of nasty fame would somehow give them some of her spotlight because they posted the same video? No. It doesn't work that way, guys. If you want to be some famous YouTuber, post funny or stupid videos that make people laugh 'till their sides hurt, not throw up.

Word count: 451

Dye! Dye! Dye!

            I've been dyeing my hair since I was in second grade when I wanted to try doing highlights at home for the first time; my mom and I tried using the in-box cap method as opposed to going to a hair salon to get it done and I ended up with a full head of blonde hair. Let's just say, I didn't have highlights. But I did discover that I liked dyeing my hair, aside from accidentally doing it that way and having all of my hair tugged and ripped through that damn plastic cap by a flimsy plastic hook thing. That shit hurt.

            I've dyed my hair three different colors in my life: blonde, by accident, reddish brown and black, although the black was supposed to be "darkest brown", as stated on the box, but I had Asian hair at the end of the procedure. I've also color-stripped my hair once and I bleached it once, both of which I would not recommend unless absolutely necessary because it really damages your hair. Dyeing it isn't exactly super healthy for your hair either, but at least you're mixing essential oils into it that help it somewhat.

            Since I've been dyeing my hair for about ten years now, I can safely say I've had enough experience to tell you what to do and what NOT to do when trying to dye your hair at home.

1. Make sure your hair is dirty when you dye or bleach it. I know that sounds gross, but the color adheres to your hair better when it's not clean; because of this, the color might also come out darker, so you might not have to leave it in as long. At least you know it'll work out right if you know you haven't showered for a day or so.

2. Wear a shirt you don't mind getting ruined when you're dyeing. Applying the dye or bleach can get messy, especially if you're doing it all yourself or if my mother is doing it; she tends to squirt the stuff all over my back and shoulders and my ears and everywhere else on my physical person. Wear the gloves that come in the box, too. The dye stains more than just your hair and it's tough to get out. It looked like I had bruises when I dyed my hair black.

3. I recommend using Garnier Nutrisse hair color; it smells good and it's not too bad for your hair. Mix the dye according to the directions in the box. Apply the dye to your part first. That's the place that's actually hardest to get colored and the most noticeable, believe it or not, because, obviously, that's where your hair is growing back in (if you're re-coloring or dyeing a different color), so that section of hair is lighter (or darker); your natural hair will absorb the dye no matter what color you're doing because it isn't exposed to any chemicals yet, unless you're going from black to blonde or something, in which case you'd be bleaching, not dyeing. Once your part is colored, put your hair up (I recommend with a clip) except for a section at the base of your neck and work your way up from there. If you were to start at the top and go down, you might miss spots underneath your hair; that's why it's best to work in sections, too, as opposed to just squirting the whole bottle on your head and rubbing it in like shampoo. Since you're using a clip, it's easier to let sections or hair down so you can keep applying up; make sure you start at your scalp and work your way out to the ends. Once all the dye is applied, (sometimes two bottles are necessary, depending on how much hair you have) give yourself a little scalp massage and work it all in, making sure you didn't miss any spots and then pile it on the top of your head. Sit for about 15-20 minutes,

4. When you're rinsing the dye out, get your hair wet first, and work your fingers through it one more time with the dye still in, just to make sure you got everywhere. Trust me, you don't want to go through all of that and realize that you missed a section of hair once it's washed and dried. Rinse it, and when the water runs clear, the dye is out.

5. CONDITION THE HELL OUT OF IT. Your hair is very porous since it's been exposed to harsh chemicals, which means it'll be very brittle and dry if you don't condition it. The box comes with a packet of conditioner, but I always use more just to be safe. Drench your hair in it and keep it in for about 10 minutes, 15-20 to be safe. Sometimes I actually get out of the shower to let it condition and then I get back in to rinse it. When you rinse, make sure you're using cool water instead of hot because it'll close up your hair, trapping the conditioner inside which is what you want.

6. If you're planning on styling right after dyeing, I recommend not using too much heat, so not a lot of blow drying or straightening or curling, at least not right away. Your hair just endured a lot, don't overwork it.

Word count: 902

Nail 'Em!

            Any other girls have an obsession with painting your nails like I do? If my nails are long enough for my liking, I find myself doing something to them almost every day. I like to experiment with different color combinations, patterns and designs on my nails. There are a lot of cool tools and stuff I like to use, too.

·       They make acrylic kits so you can do your nails as if you were going to the salon to get them done. They're about $15 for three sets which is half the price of one full set if you get them done professionally. It takes some practice getting used to using the little brush and applying the acrylic, but once you get the hang of it, it's fun and pretty easy. You can paint them however you want when you're done.

·        I like to use different techniques and tools to decorate my nails. One of my favorite tools is a dotting tool; it has a small metal bulb at either end, one is a little larger than the other and it's used to make dots or lines on your nails neatly. I like it because I put flowers or hearts on my nails a lot and I like to write letters as well. The tool is only a couple bucks at Walmart.

·         I really like using stickers as well. They're good for when you want your nails to look a little more professionally done than if you made flowers yourself without having to fish out the money for it. I use tip stickers as well when I want to have French tips because they make a perfectly straight guideline to paint so my nails look really nice.

·       Sometimes I like to be really creative and paint pictures or phrases on my nails. My favorite little project was when I painted Angry Birds pigs; it took a while, but they looked awesome!

 

Word count: 330

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!

            Everyone who's ever been in a relationship knows how it goes; exes never stay away. No matter what you do, they're always there. Oh, no, I'm not talking about my exes this time. I'm talking about my boyfriend's crazy ex girlfriend.

            I know 'crazy' is an over-used term to describe an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, but, really, this chick is crazy. My boyfriend has two children (don't freak! He's only 21) and baby-mama is bipolar when it comes to letting him see his little boys. One minute, she'll bitch and complain that he doesn't try to see his kids and that she's the only one taking care of them, which, mind you, is insane, because he calls her all the time to see his boys and she ignores his calls. The next minute, she'll tell him to erase her number and never call her again because he's causing too much drama by trying to contact her. Contradictory much? I think so. It doesn't help that this girl isn't a very good mother; she doesn't live in a stable home, she makes bad decisions and brings home a lot of guys which is scary and pretty unhealthy for those poor young boys to be around.

            After all the craziness, she turns around and decides to compliment me and tell him that she's happy he found me. Really? I appreciate the sentiment but weren't you just about to rip his head off a second ago? I try to be a good person and be civil with her, which isn't too hard since I haven't actually met her yet, but when it comes to her yelling at my boyfriend for things he didn't do, I'm not going to be super forgiving about it.

            My thing is, why do exes have to be involved in our current relationships? They're called "EXES" for a reason, because they're crossed out of our life like checking something off of a list: "Yep, that mistakes done, let's move on!" I mean I understand they have to have some sort of communication because they have two children together, but that doesn't mean she has to make any comments about me. She doesn't know anything about me or our relationship so I don't want to have to deal with her. Case closed.

Word count: 392

Gotta Love Food

Ever since I was little, I watched my mom and my grandma construct delicious dishes in the kitchen, and I wanted to be able to cook like them when I grew up. I remember watching the Food Network all the time, especially Rachael Ray's shows, Unwrapped, Emeril, Iron Chef, Paula Dean's shows, and a bunch of other ones. I got my first Rachael Ray cookbook when I was 8, and I tried recreating her recipes myself. Now that I'm older, I've actually made up my own recipes, especially for pastas and pizza and some desserts.

 

My first recipe I made up was my own version of chicken alfredo. It's my favorite dish at my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden, and I wanted to have it all the time so I figured I'd make it myself. I made this up based on what ingredients I found around the house. 1 batch feeds about six people.

 

·         1 to 1 1/2 jars of Prego Alfredo sauce

·         1 box of any pasta of your choice; I like radiatori or penne pasta because they're bite-sized

·         1 onion, white or red

·         Minced garlic, 2 cloves

·         Chicken (varies on what you have around): 2 chicken breasts, thawed and seasoned when you cook them; about 10 chicken nuggets, cut up; 4-5 chicken filets, depending how big they are

·          Italian seasoning (if you have it)

·         Broccoli (optional) or any other vegetable you want to cut up in there

·         About 1 cup of milk

·         Parmesan cheese, however much you want, if any

·         Salt and pepper

 

I always start by cooking the pasta first, that way I can cook the whole dish in one pot without dirtying too many dishes. Boil the water and add salt to flavor the pasta. Let it cook until it's al-dente, or cooked to your liking, and strain it.

 

Turn the heat down to medium and put a little oil in, enough to lightly coat the bottom. Cut up the chicken, whatever kind you decide to use, until it's brown. Add a little more oil if you need to and add in the onions, garlic, pepper and any other seasonings or vegetables you want.

Once everything is cooked, turn the heat down to low and pour in the alfredo sauce. Add the milk and as much parmesan as you want and stir until there are no lumps of cheese left. Add the pasta and mix it all up. Add more cheese or spices of you'd like.

 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm hungry.

 

Word count: 430

Holy Ouija!

                How many of you guys have played with a Ouija board before? I had seen them in movies and TV shows before but I never thought they’d actually work. I wasn’t much of a believer in the supernatural world, but after my first experience with one of these boards, it changed my views on what else could be living among us. (It sounds like I’m speaking for the Discovery Channel or something.)

                For those of you who don’t know, a Ouija board is basically a game board with the alphabet written on it in the center, all ten numbers, 0-9, ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ written in the upper corners of the board and ‘Goodbye’ at the bottom. If you buy it, the game comes with a teardrop-shaped piece of plastic with a clear disk in the center which allows you to see the letters, numbers, or words through it. My sister and I learned that you can actually make your own board out of paper or cardboard or something and it works just fine. We use a poker chip for the moving piece.

              To play, you can’t have just one person. Not only does it not work, but rumor has it that the user will be “possessed” if they’re the only one with their fingers on the piece. Both, or all players, place two fingers, or one depending on how many people are playing, on the piece and ask a question. Usually, we start off by asking if anyone is in the room with us, and the piece will slowly slide to the ‘Yes’ in the corner. When we first played, we swore to God that neither one of us was moving it. If one of us was moving it, it probably would have moved faster and not as smoothly since multiple people had their fingers on it. To get the game going, just ask the spirit questions. Sometimes they’ll respond ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, other times they’ll spell out words or sentences or answer with numbers. If they don’t want to talk, they’ll slide the piece to ‘Goodbye’; you could do the same if what they’re saying freaks you out or it’s complete nonsense.

                The freakiest thing about the Ouija board is that much of what they say is true. My sister and I would try testing its legitimacy with facts about ourselves, and they were right to the ‘T’. We thought it was maybe because the person we asked about had their fingers on the chip, so we asked another person to touch it while we asked about the person who wasn’t touching it. The board was still right. Sometimes, the spirits will write out full sentences or phrases to tell you things without you having to ask them anything. We began asking it questions about the future, and sometimes they’re correct, other times they change their minds or say things completely irrelevant. Either way, playing with a Ouija board is fun and scary at the same time. I recommend playing if you haven’t already!

            Another tip: don’t leave the piece on the board without touching it. Apparently it opens the board up so many the spirits can enter the room. Also, don’t play Christian music or have crosses around. It pisses them off. And if they spell out ‘Devil’, well, you should know to stop playing right about then. Another sign that the Devil is playing with you is when the piece goes back and forth between two letters over and over.

Word count: 587

Hellish New Year

Oh. My. God. I thought Christmas Eve was a nightmare, but New Year’s Eve takes the cake, and not in a good way. I don’t know what our society’s problem is, but everyone and their mother is a damn procrastinator to the extreme.

*At work, we were open until 6 pm on New Year’s Eve so people still had time to get ready to go out with their friends and family for the holiday. Apparently, the entire fucking city didn’t know when New Year’s Eve was, or they’re just stupid, because the entire population of Cedar Rapids decided to flock into Gordmans between 10 am and 6 pm. Not one minute was slow, steady, or easily worked. There were constantly people flooding the fitting room, trying on ten items at a time, keeping none and then preceding to go back for rounds two and three or more. Every single time they tried on clothes, they kept maybe one or two things, three if I was lucky. Most of the time they just threw their shit on my counter and stomped away in a huff like it was my fault that none of the clothes fit. I’m sorry, ma’am; I wasn’t aware that 40-somethings couldn’t fit into junior jeans and dresses. I’ll be sure to warn the next soul entering my domain.

The most disgusting part about this was almost every woman who came in was trying on either short skirts, tight jeans and low-cut shirts, or lingerie. It’s like, really, you’re going out to a dark bar or club, you’re going to get sweaty and piss drunk, you will more-likely-than-not throw up on yourself or have someone else throw up on you, and eventually your see-through lacey babydoll ensemble is going to be ripped off of you, so WHY EVEN BOTHER BUYING IT?! If you were smart, you’d wear old, holey sweats or something because you’re just going to get more disgusting as the night goes on.

Not only was everyone trying on a million skanky little outfits, but we were suddenly hit by a mob of shoppers, literally, at 5:55 pm. I had never seen it so busy, so close to our closing time. The closing announcements didn’t even phase them. They were like a virus or something. We had to start turning people down from the fitting room because we were closed. We even had about a dozen people call after hours to see when we closed. Sorry, bitches, we closed ten minutes ago. Happy New Year!

 

Word count: 421